1. Why?
2. Just wait til the winter.
3. Don't speed.
The conversation goes a little something like this: The "why" is usually said in an incredulous tone, almost as if I said puppies are an abomination. This tone is not unlike the reaction we get when we say we like the West Edmonton Mall. We counter this by expressing how much we really like Edmonton. They then bring out the big guns (no. 2) accompanied by ominous bad-guy background music, followed, without fail, by our nervous laughter. "Aha ha ha... it can't be that bad.... Riiiiiight?" When that passes and they've accepted that we chose to move here, their best Droopy dog slow voice comes on and goes, "Well... then... don't....... speeeeed." It's like the slowest drawl you could possibly say the word speed.
There's no doubt we'll write about the winter here, but since we've been experiencing unusually high temperatures, warm weather, and a beautiful fall (all of which, we're told, is not like Edmonton at all) unlike what's happening in southern Ontario, let's expand on no. 3 in what we like to call Driving Mr Chuck.
Since we only have 2 months of driving experience in Edmonton, below is an excerpt from an email we received from a seasoned Chuck driver (ha, get it?), our buddy Ian who also moved here from Toronto. I'm gonna preface this by saying: it's all true. Take heed, people who have never driven in Edmonton. Especially the part about pedestrians walking onto the street in the middle of traffic.
Edmonton driving, per Ian. Key points bolded, per me:
Do not kid yourself. You will need to accept the fact that you will be driving everywhere. It's just not possible to work around it. With drastic weather changes and a poor transit system, you cannot live without a vehicle. This is coming from us, a couple that lived in Toronto and never owned a car until we got here. We resisted buying a car for as long as possible but it was inevitable and truly, our lives are better for it and it should've happened sooner. All vehicles come with engine block heaters. Find yours under the hood and buy a long power cord to plug in the block heater. Plugs are virtually everywhere. Even on the side of the street and in public parking lots. Do not rely on taxi/cab service like Toronto either. Most of the time, you can't just flag one down. You have to call them and order one which really isn't so bad. They'll arrive 10 minutes later if they're not busy.
Do not speed. Alberta has traffic cameras that ticket you and you'll receive a letter about a month later. They're positioned at intersections AND IN HIDDEN TRUCKS. This is much different than Toronto. You are not safe to do 20 km/h anymore. Only 10 km/h over or less. The highways are different though. Generally 110km/h is the actual, legal limit. Doing 10km/h over that is standard. Even the elderly drive at about 125km/h. Doing 20+km/h over the limit (total of 130km/h) is pushing it. There are much fewer speed limit signs too. They don't have provincial police, it goes from Edmonton Police Service straight to RCMP so if you get caught on a highway, they don't use the trucks/cameras and it'll be an RCMP officer that you'll see.
Crosswalks are the devil. In Toronto, when someone jaywalks, they'll at least have their head up. Here, people just walk and vehicles will suddenly come to a dead stop at any time. There are designated zebra markings for crosswalks however there are no overhead lights flashing. Always check the crosswalk edges for people. They cross without looking. My wife and I have had MANY close calls. I'm not joking.
Alberta drivers are extremely over-cautious. To a fault. They cause accidents. People try to merge extremely early as well. To the point that they will stop traffic behind them, forcing people behind them to stop in the middle of intersections despite a couple hundred metres of room before the lane ends. Again, I'm not joking. Brush up on your merging skills. I used to drive like a proper cab driver in downtown Toronto and I still do. It's served me well. Other drivers might get angry but I don't care. Just be careful doing it and don't gun it down the open merge lane.
Rush hour is from 7:30am to about 9am, light traffic from 11:45 to 1pm, and 4pm to 6pm. During these times, avoid the Yellowhead and Whitemud at all cost.
Go shopping on a weekend once and then learn from the mistake. It's insanity. The Costcos, West Edmonton Mall, any shopping centre. It's all packed on weekends. Good luck finding parking.Two things about getting tickets I'd like to add to this: First, you may not even know you were violating anything. The ticket will just magically appear in the mail and your day is ruined. This is the biggest fear of Edmontonians. Secondly, you can also get caught on a double whammy meaning $300 for running a red light + another $150 for speeding through to catch said red light. Both of these suck.
To end this segment of Driving Mr Chuck, I leave you with two cautionary tales about getting ticketed. Did these actually happen? Who are these dudes? No one really knows. Maybe these are just urban legends passed down from generation to generation told to scare newcomers. You decide.
Cautionary tale 1: This dude started getting multiple tickets at work for the company car. This was perplexing as he wasn't aware of any violations he'd committed. Some tickets were especially concerning cause he wasn't even driving the car at the time of the ticket. No way was he going to pay for tickets that weren't his. Except he would have to pay. Cause the mysterious bad driver of his car was actually his wife.
Moral of the story: It's embarrassing enough to get tickets through work, but even worse when it's your spouse.
Cautionary Tale 2: There was another dude and he drove to work. Everyday, he would take the same route from home to the office. Everyday, he would roll through this one particular stop sign. Unbeknownst to him, there was a traffic cam at this stop sign. Fifteen or so days go by and he's none the wiser. Day 16 rolls around and he receives a ticket in the mail. And then again the next day. And then the next. And then the day after that. You get where I'm going here.
Moral of the story: Surprise tickets suck. But 15+ surprise tickets suck even more.
